Jake and Dannie During my pregnancy, I’ve learned a great deal about taking care of myself and loving myself. I’ve learned that my capacity to love anyone is directly related to my ability to love myself. I learned a lot about this in April on my birthday/babymoon silent yoga retreat in (Ashville, NC). Admittedly I’m just getting a handle on easing gracefully into my 30s, but here’s what I’ve picked up so far.
Trust Yourself and Your Own Decisions
In my 20s, I made a lot of mistakes in my career and my social life. I was much to quick to let go of things that were important to me. I’ve learned that when something is valuable I need to stick with it, even when things are difficult. It’s true that nothing worth doing is easy. I always used to get nervous when things started getting shaky (or sometimes when they started going suspiciously well), and I still do. But now I don’t try to escape from that nervousness by changing course on the drop of a hat.
Redefine Priorities.
When I was living and working in Boston (for Seven years) in my 20s, my priorities were pretty much city living as I imagined it, which means expensive apartments ($1600 for one bedroom … but it’s walking distance to Harvard Sq.) and $400 monthly budget for clothing/spa care/hair/makeup, what I didn’t prioritize was food - I had a budget of $20 a week for food - so I ate pretty much nothing, and what I did eat wasn’t that nourishing. Now in my 30s, I no longer care to pay for expensive “city living” and with baby on the way I have shifted my priorities. Nowadays a big chunk of our family budget goes to food and we buy organic whenever we can because we see eating healthy as an investment in ourselves. No matter where we live or what I wear or how well my hair looks, if we don’t have good health then none of that other stuff matters.
“ Other people’s opinions of who you are, is only a reflection of your opinions toward yourself.
Let Go of Self Judgements
Looking back, I think my 20s were a continuation of high school (or something like it) for me. I was thrown into a new social world where I felt I still needed to climb that social ladder of popularity. I would always imagine other people looking down on me if I wasn’t dressed right or going to the right parties. In my 30s, I’m more relaxed about myself. Especially with my pregnancy, I care less about what other’s think and I don’t judge myself. I learned that to love myself means to be kind and compassionate toward myself. to appreciate where I am and where I’ve been, to do nice things, to forgive, let go of blame, let go of the past and let go of others opinions of me (but to hold on to the people I love). And if I can’t truly love myself how can I truly love someone else!
I think the best advice I can give to Lisa when she comes into this world is “Love yourself unconditionally first so that one day you can learn to love others. Because you are unique, you are beautiful and you are worthy of love.”
Have a wonderful weekend,
Dannie
