Sometimes it seems like no matter how far you get in life or in business there are always people who are a million miles ahead of you. I remember when Jake and I first started doing photography together I would look at other photographers’ websites and think “I wish my photos looked like that” even though I liked the way my photos looked then. Later, when I liked my photos even more I would be jealous of all the reviews other photographers had on pages like The Knot. The reviews are trickling in now as we do more work (Our clients are the best! Thank you so much for supporting us!), and looking back it seems so silly that I was stressed about it. How could we have had reviews when our business had just started? Before that, how could I have found my style when I hadn’t had time to explore yet?
With this kind insight you would think I would have zero stress in my life now, right? You will be shocked… shocked… to learn that I still get stressed when my life isn’t already where I want it to be in the future. Life kind of repeats itself in this way. No matter where you are, or how big you are the world pretty much looks the same and you feel like you are in the same place (looking over my shoulder, Jake says patterns like this are called fractals - he’s so nerdy & cute). No matter how much we accomplish we just keep pushing the goal further back so we never reach it and we always feel like we have a long way to go.
I think the key is to be like the flowers and herbs in my garden. A few months ago they were seeds and they didn’t know they were one day going to be seedlings, and when they were seedlings they didn’t know that they were going to blossom. Every day they just did what they needed to do and they trusted themselves to become what they were supposed to be. They didn’t stress out and they didn’t get jealous of the plants that were already fully grown. They’re just grateful that they get the sunlight and the water that they need to grow (looking over my shoulder Jake says we can’t prove that the flowers weren’t stressed - it’s not so cute this time Jake, you can go away now).
The photos that Jake has taken of me throughout my pregnancy have helped me to feel more like the flowers in the garden. Not only can I see the changes in my body (the photo above was taken during my late first trimester), but when I see myself I can remember how nervous I was at the time about being where I am now. Time has passed and I feel comfortable with my body and my pregnancy, but looking at the photos and remembering how I felt kind of makes me feel a little less stressed about the things that worry me now (childbirth and parenthood). I know that there will be challenges, but I also know that one day I’ll look back and realize that it was pointless for me to worry. I just need to be like the flowers and feel grateful that I have the resources I need to get by (my family, my clients, my own tenacity, and everyone and everything that supports me in my life)!
Have a wonderful weekend!